You're Going to Hate Fridays

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil.

Satan: Why so glum?
Guy: Why do you think? I'm in hell!
Satan: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink.
Satan: Well you're going to love Mondays then. On Mondays that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, Tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab and fresca. And we don't worry about getting a hangover, because you're dead anyway.
Guy: Gee, that sounds great!
Satan: You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it!
Satan: All right! You're going to love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no biggie, you're already dead, remember?
Guy: Wow, that's awesome!
Satan: I bet you like to gamble.
Guy: Why yes, as a matter of fact I do.
Satan: 'Cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt... you're dead anyhow.
Guy: WOW! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!
Satan: You gay?
Guy: No...
Satan: Ooooh (grimaces). Then you're going to hate Fridays.